10 Top Tips to a Great Grooms Speech
So you have decided to take the plunge and your wedding day is approaching. You know you will have to give a grooms speech on the big day and now is the time to start getting organized. If you are like most grooms, just let’s say it is not the part of your wedding day that you are most looking forward to! Now we are going to give you some help and advice here to make sure you don’t end up giving a grroms speech like this poor guy (even if he is the Best Man)!
Um ….eh….um….. Your bride, family, and friends will be there and you want to impress them – you sure don’t want them to remember your wedding speech for all the wrong reasons! These 10 tips (and an extra sneaky one at the end!) will help you to write and deliver a grooms speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons.
1. Don’t Leave it Until the Last Minute
You want to enjoy the days running up to your wedding. There will no doubt be some social occasions organized and you don’t want to have to duck out of the rehearsal dinner to work on your grooms speech. Start planning it now and give yourself some time.
2. Decide on The Running Order for the Wedding Speeches
Make sure that you have arranged the running order of speeches with the rest of the wedding party. The father of the bride speech usually comes first and the best man is usually last. These days the father of the groom, maid of honor and even sometimes the bride want to speak or at least feel they should! (You can find out more about wedding speeches order here.)
3. Check Out what Others are Saying
Before you start on your grooms speech, make sure you have an idea of what other speakers will say. You don’t need all the details (your best man might not tell you!) but you don’t want to end up repeating each other over and over. It is a nice touch to thank the staff at the venue for example but this does not need to be included in everyone’s speech.
4. Get Structured
Make a list of topics in the order you want to address them during your grooms speech. Some items that you should include are:
- Thanking everyone for coming especially anyone who has travelled long distance or made a special effort for being there.
- Thank the mother and father of the bride for welcoming you to the family and your parents for supporting you etc
- You should also thank your bride and compliment her. Perhaps include a story about how you got together or how you proposed or why you are so lucky she puts up with you!
- You may also want to thank other members of the wedding party such as the maid of honor, bridesmaids, best man etc.
- There are other thank you’s that should be addressed in the wedding speeches such as thanking the venue and anyone particular who helped out. (Find more detailed advice on the structure for your grooms speech here)
5. Tone it Down/Tone it Up
Before you start writing your speech you need to decide what tone to set. Do you want your grooms speech to be humorous or emotional or a little of both? It is ok to include humor but make sure it is appropriate. Think of your grandma if it would make her blush or scowl then maybe you need to tone it down a little. Having said that you don’t want to be too heavy. In general try to keep things positive and upbeat during your grooms speech.
6. Write Your Grooms Speech
You don’t want to skip this. Even if you are a talker and your friends are usually trying to get you to keep it zipped, your grooms speech is a whole different ball game. Write down what you are going to say. Make sure you have covered all the topics you want to include with some appropriate personal touches. Remember that unless your bride is also giving a speech that you are speaking for both of you, insofar as you are thanking people on behalf of both you and your wife, for example.
You will need to practice. I know this might sound like a overkill but you don’t want to stand up on your wedding day and find out that that great phrase, sentence, compliment or joke you thought up ended up being a tongue twister or just plain didn’t sound right. You have to say your speech out loud so that you can get comfortable with the words. You also want to know your speech well enough so that you can deliver it without reading it word for word. Nobody wants to see you mumbling your grooms speech into a piece of paper on the day.
8. Deliver It!
I say deliver it because you need to do more than say it. Stand up, be proud, be confident, look your audience in the eye and deliver your grooms speech. Show your guests that you are having a great day – don’t just tell them. Even if your knees are shaking, keep your voice strong and say the speech that you now know well. Your guests will be on your side, you just have to take them along for the ride. You can even use an age old trick here and involve your audience. Ask them a question that they have to give a positive response to. Doesn’t my new wife look amazing to-day?
Don’t hit the bar with a vengeance before delivering your grooms speech. Slurring your words is never a good look (or sound!) but to-day of all days you just can’t do it. I know the desire for some Dutch courage may take over, but resist that temptation. Once you deliver your final toast, you can relax and enjoy the rest of your night.
10. Be nice to your Best Man
Remember he will be delivering his best mans speech after yours. Be nice to him and maybe even ask him to go easy on you – this is a good way to add a little humor to your grooms speech as well.
Now I promised you an extra sneaky tip. So here goes. When you arrive at the reception, mingle with your guests for a little while and then sneak off for five minutes to the room (no not the bedroom!) where you will be giving your speech. Take the microphone and say even the first few sentences of your grooms speech into the microphone so that you know how it works and how your voice sounds. This will mean that you are used to the volume and that you know how your voice will sound through the microphone. You have no idea how many people start and stop a speech because they are “surprized” by the sound of their voice through a microphone. You don’t want to stutter through the first sentence of your grooms speech. This will only take a few minutes and will mean you have a strong, confident start to your speech!
A Great Grooms Speech Resource
Deliver your grooms speech with the help and advice of professionals and forget about doing more and more research.
Get grooms speech examples, quotes, one liners and tips on delivering your grooms speech here!